The coming of March feels irrationally scary.
March 2012 was when Ryan started to get really, unbelievably, relentlessly, horrifically, violently, (any more adjectives?) sick. It was a living nightmare and sometimes still knocks me to my knees to remember what we went through.
In some shared processing, we both feel bits of anxiety about March. Maybe because we fear another flare up, perhaps because it conjures up gut wrenching memories...or maybe something else. I don't know exactly.
I don't want to live in anxiety though, and worry isn't what God calls us to. Worry really is just a way for me to control isn't it? But it's useless and a total facade leading my to unbelief and distrust.
As March comes hurdling at us I'll ask the Lord for the ability to live in this truth instead...