Do want the good news or the bad? The good news is Ryan is sleeping a lot -about 16-18 hrs on average-which promotes healing. And that's where the good news stops. Onto the less good: last night and this morning were pretty brutal. Ryan woke up at 4 am with bowel and pain issues, again at 6 am, again at 8 am and finally at 10 am. We did not sleep much to say the least. My poor sweet husband never gets to fully rest from health issues. We long for that day.
A regular saying around our house has become, It's always something. If it's not the actual pain, it's the side effects from the pain meds. If it's not diarrhea, it's constipation. If it's not being overly tired, it's having insomnia. If it's not hunger, it's nausea. If it's not a headache, it's a stomachache. If it's none of those issues, it's Crohn's induced arthritis or shoulder tension or fevers or night sweats or dizziness or dehydration or breathing problems or a bloody nose or weakness or weight loss or lung mucus or dry mouth or the fissures or another fistula or another abscess or drainage or discouragement...it is always something.
He ran a 100.7 F temperature all dang night. That is so frustrating to me because he sits around 99 F all day long and then night hits and he spikes upward. I don't get it. Overall Ryan said that he is feeling really discouraged about his physical state. Amen, husband. And the physical distress doesn't begin to describe where we are emotionally. It just doesn't seem to be getting better. I know, I know--it took 21 weeks to get here he won't be healthy overnight. But come on! It's almost a week after surgery and I would think that some bruising (see below if you dare) would subside and some strength would be returning.
Is it possible to sum up such a terrible season in just one word? Let me try: exhausted. Just totally tired and really struggling to see the Lord. We are in a season now of How long Lord? I cannot wait for some relief, for the "always something" mentality to pass, and to be made to lie in green pastures and led to still waters (Psalm 23).
Until that time here are a quick few shots, though not very creative I'll admit, that gave me life to snap just the same:
Harpo came home today. He stayed with his grandma and grandpa and after 12 days part we missed his sweet face.
Immediately fell asleep on the floor.
Ryan's lunch from Tokoyo Joe's that my mom brought over today. Love that place because they use many organic and sustainable foods in their cooking. Ryan had rice noodles, chicken, soft carrots, and bamboo shoots. A fairly decent meal full of lots of good healthfulness! He ate like 5 bites.
Sorry if you don't like this but this is the reality of Ryan's physical condition post-op. This is the bruise on his right side from his last surgery. We did the math...most recently he has had THREE surgeries in just NINE days! Dang love, you are a stud and put up with a lot.
In semi good spirits at this moment! This is Husband with his soy protein banana peanut butter shake and his ice water. Those two armpit crevices is what he calls his "sweet spots" and keeps his drinks there for handy sipping ;)
He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.