Monday, July 23, 2012

CT Scan Today/Ry Update

{Today's Post at Reaching for Fringe is especially uplifting for these hard days.  I hope it blesses.}

Today is not a good day.

We slipped into a 12:30 pm slot today for a full abdominal and pelvic CT scan for Ryan.  Only problem is he woke up SO sick this morning.  Weak, beyond tired, nauseous, stomach aching, and the dreaded bowel movement.  They are almost unbearable at this point.  I take that back...they ARE unbearable.  It takes 2 Percocet to make it through.  Percocet is a narcotic people, intense stuff.  Truly, I wish I could convey how horribly miserable and painful going to the bathroom is at this point for Ry.  I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.

Fast forward to a 40 minute car ride which is never fun for a guy who can't sit: the doctor's office was freezing-like less than 60 degrees and at 150 lbs Ryan doesn't have an ounce of fat on him to keep him warm.  Top all of those awful symptoms I mentioned before with having to drink 2 huge bottles of the barium dye for the contrast.  It was not a pleasant morning to say the least.

I have a call into our GI Specialist.  I am very, very worried about Ryan at this point.  I am physically lifting him when he needs it and it takes literally every ounce of strength in him to get up out of the bath or out of the bed.  I've never seen anything like it.  There are also some new symptoms that I won't describe here because they are not pleasant to do so.  But know they are excruciatingly miserable.

Please please pray for Ryan.  He is so severely sick.  Things do not get better but seem to only get worse.  I've shared some fighting words with the Lord recently.  I'm glad that a lot of the Psalms are filled with cries of anguish and anger because otherwise I would stand very isolated in my exasperation and emotion.  At this point I am just begging God to show up.

1 O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
    How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
    with sorrow in my heart every day?
    How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
    Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”
    Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.
But I trust in your unfailing love.
    I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
I will sing to the Lord
    because he is good to me.

Psalm 13


  1. I am praying so hard for comfort to Ryan and strength for you.

    Believing, trusting, waiting, hoping...praying for both of you.

    I am just a phone call away -- please let me know how I can help.

  2. Praying for you and Ryan. As a youngish cancer survivor I totally get those fighting words with God. But He understands and most definitely can handle it. He knows your anguish and is there to assist you even at the times when you don't feel Him present.

    Best to you both.

    Isaiah 41.10

  3. Carly, I am praying for you and Ryan...



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