T'was there ever a season of intense growth in our lives this could certainly be it. I (Carly) am being grown and stretched incredibly as of late, despite my stubbornness to resist. Oh yes, it is good, but may I just politely say sometimes it sucks?
So it's good but it's hard. Let me share briefly. Ryan and I are super jazzed about CCC staff and it's being used in ways we didn't even anticipate. Oh good night we are pumped and praise the Lord other people are getting there too! The application process, which I dig now by the way, is crazy intense. Next time you apply for a job, have 4 of the people closest to you (excluding family) fill out an evaluation of sorts about you and at some point they will have to be brutally honest and list how you can grow and areas of weakness. Oh, kill me now! One, of my many, many temptations is pride (I can feel it welling up in me now just telling you about it. Ick.) But thank God he is pruning that out of me and growing new things that are honoring to Him.
So as I learn to grow in the areas that ALL four friends mentioned (kudos for being consistent people!) I have been realizing how I will never, not in my wildest dreams have it together. Not all the way. Not the way I would need it to be if I want God in a real way. If I ever waited until my pride died out, or my sin disappeared, or the nastiness of me was gone by my doing I would be waiting until kingdom come because it's just not happening. I hope someone Amen'd that because I can't be the only one that has ever thought "Just a little longer, I'll get it together and then I'll head to church. I'm just too crappy (or insert some other choice word) right now." Lies!!
I'm learning that Jesus is the only way to crucify that flesh of mine that hurts people, sins, gets all puffed up at my own silly abilities, and ultimately draws me away from the Romancer of my Heart. Even in my weakness, I've got to cling to Jesus for dear life, to allow HIM to fix me, mend me up, and meet me. I'm not perfect, I won't ever be but the cry of my heart now is "Prune junk away Lord, because I will never get it together! JC you're my only hope!"
Love that Jesus. His swanky, real, strong love breaks us, woos us, changes us...when we allow Him even just a little work room.